A short, grounding guide for the worst moments.
If someone is in immediate danger, or in a medical or psychiatric emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. The rest of this guide can wait until they're safe.
So, when a crisis hits — relapse, escalation, a phone call you didn't want — your nervous system goes loud. You might want to yell, fix, freeze, or shut down. All of those are normal. None of them are recovery.
This is a guide for pausing long enough to respond from your prime, not from panic.
Step 1: Pause
- Take three slow breaths.
- Feel your feet on the floor.
- Don't react in the first 60 seconds.
- You aren't behind. You don't have to solve this in this moment.
Step 2: Reach out
- Call or text someone in your support network.
- Say the words out loud: "I'm triggered, and I need support."
- Don't call the person in crisis to be reassured by them.
Step 3: Remember the three Cs
- You didn't cause this.
- You can't control it.
- You can't cure it.
What you can do is stay in your lane and protect your peace.
Step 4: Return to your boundary
- What boundary have you already set?
- Does it need to be reinforced — calmly, clearly, kindly?
- What's the next right action for you?
Step 5: Respond, only when you're steady
When you're calm enough to speak, keep it short.
- "I'm not available for this right now."
- "I'm taking some space to stay grounded."
- "I love you, and I need to stay in my recovery."
Step 6: Reconnect with your tools
- Breathe.
- Write.
- Read a page from your workbook.
- Walk outside.
- Revisit your values.
- Call someone who knows you.
You're not powerless
You have choices. You have tools. You can stay in recovery, even on a day that's trying to take it from you.